This should go without saying: Sending your ex's nude to her boss isn't a birthday gift

It’s perfectly fine to not get your ex anything for their birthday. You’ve gone your separate ways, and you’re not obligated to worry about finding them a gift. You don’t even have to wish them a happy birthday.

It’s one of the perks of breaking up. For most, this is understood. They’re not going to slip up and mistake the occasion for an opportunity to surprise their ex with something they didn’t ask for on their birthday.

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I say most, because there’s always at least one exception to almost everything. According to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office, Jacob Porter, 43, is one who opted to unnecessarily wish his ex-girlfriend a happy birthday.

WCJB reports that he was arrested on Saturday evening after sending a nude picture of his ex to her boss. A search of his phone reportedly found a picture of the ex asleep and completely naked.

The text message to her boss that was sent along with the nude the ex didn’t know existed allegedly read, "wish your h** a happy birthday for me."

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That’s not the sort of thing the ex-girlfriend wanted for her birthday, but all was not lost. She did get a gift in the form of Porter being taken to the Alachua County Jail where his bond was set at $100,000.

The Alachua Chronicle reports that this alleged incident, that resulted in sexual cyber harassment and digital voyeurism charges, isn’t his first encounter with law enforcement. He has several prior convictions, according to the outlet.

Porter reportedly has nine felony convictions, three of them violent, and another 12 misdemeanor convictions, which includes one violent. He’s also served two state prison sentences and was arrested back in March 2026 on DUI-related charges.

Some could consider that type of reported history less than desirable. You know, not exactly ideal boyfriend material. But who am I to say what a catch is?